Just as 2013 comes to an end, I couldn’t resist myself from posting this funny encounter I had, with an electronics engineer few days ago, who thinks that designing chips is the best thing in the world, and businessmen are dumb-heads, who couldn’t learn programming so they started something! Anybody can write, but no everybody can code, SEO professionals are useless morons, and website designers have monotonous life as they design the same old stuff!
So, here’s how it goes – I call it the Comedy of the Year 2013 -
EE (Elec Engineer): Hey buddy what are you up to these days – seeing you after 6 yrs – I heard you had started a startup!
Me: Nothing much, doing my stuff as usual – yeah I started about 6 years ago, correct!
EE: So, did you know we’re making that really cool chip, which will be equipped on 1 million devices, and I even got employee of the quarter award this time; by the way what do you make?
Me: Great, congrats – I make Money!
EE: But how – you don’t make anything great like us!
Me: Well, we create websites, market them, do the branding, and all that stuff!
EE: But our chips are so darn expensive, and your sites are so cheap – what’s the cost of a domain and a website development?
Me: Probably $8-20, and $200-500 respectively
EE: Oh that’s all? Our devices cost about a million bucks to manufacture, and we could probably have 10,000 sites in that much money
Me: Correct, but all of them will be worth ZERO if they’re NOT marketed!
EE: Marketing, huh – so what do you do? Like rocket science – some secret campaign? Something really high-profile?
Me: Nope, just simple down to earth stuff – SEO (search engine optimization), and helping it rank on Google and other major search engines
EE: Hmm that sounds kinda’ odd – how do you control what Google does?
Me: We don’t! We just try to ensure that the site is properly optimized, loaded with good contents, and has enough popularity to show up in the top results.
EE: Ah gotcha – so you don’t do anything, and pray to god that it works!
Me: Lol if that makes you happy, then you’re free to think so, but a lot goes behind the scenes, and making it work.
EE: Hmm… Dude that’s beyond my understanding! I do what I can control… anyway, what’s your wife up to these days? She works for you?
Me: Nope she works for happiness, and currently with HP!
EE: Happiness, HP? Eh, I work for XXX (company name hidden) and they hire only the elite, and pay me Rs xxx,xxx/month
EE: BTW what’s your salary like?
Me: How does it matter – I can draw as much as I like!
EE: Oh you mean you need to keep adjusting your salary? By the way, I just bought this cool new expensive car (Honda Accord lol!) dude I had to pay 4L down-payment and EMI is 40k+; what do you drive BTW – Maruti, Hyundai?
Me: Nope, Volvo!
EE: Lol you travel by bus? I thought you had a small car too!
Me: Well yeah I had a small car but sold it long back, and currently I’ve a few sedans… Today, I came by Volvo s80 3.2 turbo-charged 250hp version
EE: Really? When did Volvo start making cars in India? So it’s a diesel?
Me: Nope, it’s imported, and it’s petrol, because diesels aren’t as much fun to drive!
EE: Really? It must be pinching your pockets – whats the FE?
EE: WTF – how do you drive it? Don’t use it too often? I’ve been so pissed with my Accord giving me 7-8kpl and I barely take it out.
Me: I drive it daily, but I enjoy long-drives more often during the nights on highways! What’s the fun of keeping a car if you don’t drive it!
EE: Eh, what’s your income level now? Hmm secret, eh? Okay don’t give me figures, just tell me an approximate, and you don’t have to feel bad – I’m 12 years senior to you, so it’d take time to grow! So, you inherited a fortune, got some dowry?
Me: LOL I don’t believe in taking dowry and crap – I can earn enough! And, that’s exactly why I’d feel bad a little, but for you – Multiply your annual salary by Y (again hidden) and add a zero to the right – that’s my monthly income!
EE: Sorry, what did you say? I’m a little weak in math and shit – getting a call, will catch up later!
Me: Happy New Year in Advance!
——End of Conversation——–
Happy New Year 2014 to all my blog readers – next time, when you come across such a person, make it a point to teach him/her a lesson politely!